I think its better if I go direct to the point:
Do you guys ever experienced Sleep Paralysis? I hope not.
Well, I've expericiend a couple times, it's awful.
And the last time it happened (4 days ago), I noticed something, whatever the thing that was beside me, it was controlling me in some way I couldnt move my body, this is "ok", because I couldnt move my body in the other cases, however for the first time this thing touched me! At first glance I thought it was my dog, trying to waking me up, but it wasnt, and sudenlly I got my body totally blocked and all I could do it was start praying in my mind, like all I always do when this things happens to me.
When I pray to God to free me from this nightmare and He doesnt make happen at first seconds, I get totally despair and angry, a horrible feeling - WHY CANT YOU HELP ME? PLEASE, FREE ME?
I noticed that I cant tell whats the worse feeling: the fact that theres a evil creature beside me or the feeling God wouldnt help me.
I think the people in the hell must feel like this, it's horrible.
In the end, God always helped me, the demoniac creature always fades away and I come to sleep like notthing happened, I just remembered what happened by the morning when I woke up.
How to make this stops, anons? I think this things are a bad signal, I used to go to rave parties and I stopped, this was a bad heavy thing I was doing, but now I dont know what I'm doing wrong.
Please, pray for me anons, I also I've been crying most of nights, deaths, suicidal and disgraces scenes are going to my mind, making me sad.
I guess I have to build a stronger relantionship with God, but I dont know how.
What book should I read?
What should I read?
I read the Daily Reading (almost) everyday and when I go to sleep I pray a Hail Mary and a Our Father, sometimes I also pray to my guardian angel.